k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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