The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Randomize
