Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize