i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Randomize
