I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
