I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
