Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
