One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
im holly from the hills drunk
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
MIDGETS
????
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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