i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
