She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
