I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
