Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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