You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
