do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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