If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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