Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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