What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
