she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
