Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
