Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
