Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
