chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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