You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize