why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
