The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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