dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
