i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
