hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
