Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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