Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize