the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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