Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize