Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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