Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
