I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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