His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
