Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
