Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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