I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
