Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
