Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Randomize
