So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
