I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
