YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
