this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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