Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
