anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
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