I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
