Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
