OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
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