What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize
