I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
