You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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