I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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