I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Gay?
German.
Pity.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
