It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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