his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
