K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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