Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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