if i died would you start the facebook group?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
