i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
