you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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