Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
