Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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